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I Don't Miss AdolescenceMy sister calls to ask me if I'll do her makeup;
Mami promised that she would, but she's tired
and screamed when Maria reminded her senior prom
is tonight. She says, "I have a hickey on my neck,
something she doesn't want to cover, and you've always
done a better job of highlighting the subtle graces
inherent to my bone structure, the angles we share."
I say, "That's okay, but I can't pick you up,"
so she arrives in a flourish of exasperations,
telling me all the family business, waving her nails
in my face and talking about the pain of her extensions.
She says, "Do you think we need yellow concealer?
I plan to take pictures, and the last
Onyx DreamsOnyx Dreams
Fluctuations of sound waves vibrate the floor,
While the lights of my room glow brilliantly,
But as time winds down and my energy starts its decline,
My vision gets blurry and listening becomes hearing,
And hearing becomes simple background noise,
While Palaceer Lazaro’s words become filmy intonations
Yet, still creating a motion picture full of abstract images,
In my mind full of words and phrases that do nothing but stay stagnant,
And Slumber begins to wrap her warm hands around my head,
As she sweetly begins to pull me into black depths of rest,
A state of unconsciousness that will take me on a journey,
Through the grey abyss we call the center of our nervous system,
And once I fall into the pit of nothingness, the pit of onyx, for those few hours,
I will transform into an atramentous being with aphotic wings,
Because “black is free……..”
You were cold insideYour lips tasted of
summer, of warm days and
relaxing by the
pool side and
smiling against the sun.
You should have been too hot,
too sticky, too humid.
You should have
overheated, should have
melted into your bones until
they turned to ashes, but
it never happened.
I suppose I should have
seen it coming, but
I was so moonstruck over
the way you said my name, so
in love with the idea
of love, that I
didn't notice the way
your eyes bled
The HourglassWatch the hands go round and round.
Ahhhh, how long have I been sitting here,
Listening to the grandfather clock?
Watching him ticking away?
Watching the polished wood yellow and rot?
And with every sound he makes
More maggots eat his wooden flesh.
Every grain that falls is an eternity!
In the firelight you can see the glass.
The dust that coats the cracking bulb,
Listening to the sand that trickles down.
Listening to the passing hours.
With every grain that filters through
Another man sleeps eternally.
The sundial stands defiant!
From my leather chair I see it!
It stands defiant in the plaza below me!
Standing in the moonlit night.
7 - The Pet PoetI remember when Mommy bought you
a black-haired pet for your sweet sixteenth.
Its bronze collar said its name was "Poet."
You fed it noise from the out-of-tune piano,
intense moments involving flesh and razors,
and the occasional walk by the lake.
At first, he knew only the wolf's howl,
purging blood and flames onto the carpets.
Everywhere was a smell of extravagance --
like that woman's cheap perfume on the train to work.
But you cried a little less,
smiled a bit more.
And that was when Daddy stopped
trying to send it back to the shelter.
Soon, you even started watching T.V.
(and enjoyed food, dressed nice, made friends.)
nothing specialthey tell you not to give up
because you have potential--
and to the ones who simply enjoy
you're probably fantastic
but to those who do
you're simply mediocre,
nothing to bat an
you're not quite bad enough
to quit, but you're not
great enough to be
unrequitedyou make my words
gather at the hollows
of my throat
until i choke on them.
my fingers ache to
but my eyes ache to
you're nothing but heart break
wrapped in a bow
of something beautiful,
like the dust of grace from
i drink a little faster and
cry a little harder
because the way whiskey and tears
mingle on my lips
tastes suspiciously of love.
VIIEncore un peu de cendre
Au coin de tes lèvres
J'épluche tes souhaits
Tu laves le ciel
Et dans ce vent chaud
Des milliers de pétales
SeppukuA blue sky greets me as I kneel to the ground.
I hear the rushing wind and the sacred water sound.
The cold, grey stone upon my knee,
As I prepare myself for eternity.
I take a solemn look at my silent crowd,
Those cruel, dark faces scream so loud.
They want me to do the final deed.
I'll plunge the tanto in. They'll see me bleed.
I look for a while at my full rice bowl,
And prepare for the next cycle of my soul.
What shall I be? A man or god?
Shall my next life be lived in the mud and sod?
I finish quickly so we don't delay.
By now the light is fading away.
I take up the pen and start to write,
To put brush to paper is one last delight.
Left AloneYou want me to leave you alone? I'll leave you alone.
You want me to buy you a cake and a knife? Sure I'll do that.
So, what else do you need me to do? OK. That should be easy to do.
Here I go, walking to and fro, to unknown destination just so I can please you.
You hate my guts, huh? Well, to be honest, and I will not lie, I hate your guts too.
You see me and I see you, walking past each other each and everyday - We do not smile.
I often invision you surrounded by flames and you invision me drowning in the sea.
And here is my question to you: Why do you hate me so much?
You snarl as you echo my words: Why do YOU hate me so much?
Thinking.Thinking without thought,
Not thinking about a lot.
Thinking about what it how it would be,
To have a thoughts as endless as the sea.
Thinking about the passing time,
About the mountains I have not climbed.
Thinking about a world gone by,
And about the big blue sky.
Thinking about love so sweet,
And of life crumbling at my feet.
To think about everything vast as it seems,
Would take as long as counting dreams.
So to think without a thought,
And not to think about a lot.
Would carry on an endless dream,
And let time unravel at it's seams.
No wordsI don't like to talk.
I feel that words cannot truly express what I feel.
When I am filled with emotion, I can find no word that can express what I feel to the fullest.
There is no word beautiful enough to describe this joy, no word horrible enough to describe this hate, no word ugly enough to describe this miserable existence.
a small dosage per daysorrow makes its way into my cup of tea every morning
so I add more spoonfuls of sugar into it,
hoping the sweetness will overpower the bitterness;
yet, this clever feeling still seeps through the sweet substance
and clings to the sugar's particles,
races through my veins
and scatters in my blood,
making an entire day feel ruined
Equestrian StormEquestrian Storm
I was walking through Canterlot,
as rain beat my plot.
I just didn’t feel right,
before it came into my sight.
The princess of the night,
alone and broken.
What a pitiful sight,
out of my slump, twas awoken.
“Princess, why are you here why are you crying?”
“Because nopony loves our night, I would be better off dying!”
“No Luna no, now that you shouldn’t say!”
“And why ever not, what reason hath you that I should stay?”
“Celestia for one, your sister whom you love.”
“Right sure, the sister from whom to the moon I was shoved.”
The Boy Who WaitsThe train rolls past the selfish boy,
The boy who stands and waits forever,
The boy who watches the girl fly past,
And wishes she would get off at his stop.
The boy stuck in circles,
The boy who always needs help,
The shy boy with the social prowess of a shattered rock.
He waits and waits,
And every time she flies past,
He hopes and hopes.
She talks to him often,
But sometimes not so much,
He feels like he’s walking straight when she speaks,
Her words make sense to his boggled mind.
The boy at the station,
With eyes wide in anticipation,
The selfish boy who wishes good things to happen,
The boy who takes things for granted,
A place for making noisesWe loose our voice more each year
Maybe its supposed to kill the success
A place for making noises
Too quick to die
Breathing an air of torture on the wall
Wisdom came from what we'd done
Wearing this chaos well without knowledge
Here is a land that never gave a damn
Dead hole in your head
A fugitive on the run
Save your prayers
God is empty just like me
She was...She was everything to me
and she became nothing
she was my life
and i became her death
time has strange ways
to reveal secrets
i was the killer
and she was the prey...
To Live Is To HideTo Live Is To Hide
what lies deep inside
keeping secrets of a purple life
who i was and where i stand
always telling take care
i will protect what is lost
taking you to a higher ground
smell this crazy sound
it is your heart beating
running up that hill
the promises are left behind
as you are looking back
nothing left to lose
abuse is a muse
dark and tempting
cruel velvet intentions
such words yet unspoken
call me to guide you
see our past hopes
to live is to hide...
haunting my silver dreamsHere you are again my forgotten lady
still haunting my silver restfull dreams
you escaped from the cold exile i had sent you
that day while it was raining words of oblivion
razor thoughts reaping each sweet thing i had with you
stars and rainbows upon every glance
confined by your mesmerized eyes
a future full of light and colours
Here you are again my forgotten lady
i do not know what you want from me
i have thrown away the golden key
dismissed everything and headed to the sea
all there can be is me
you left us long time ago
Returned from a serenity dreamReturned from a dream
no longer by my side
voices ripped my mind
silence reflected my agony
Red line across my heart
white face with a black disease
leaving a blank stare
Darkness took control
tearing my thoughts
a perfect choking
Each and every one
Drained from life,
away from destiny's end
shadows of a previous life
Their grief so hostile
divine dark tears
raped by faith
Returned from a dream
no longer by my side
waiting the touch of death
uncertain and tranquil...
Roses and housesAll these days in opposition
a circle i am under
wanted a plain and calm life
immerse my soul in love
just to share your light
fading every passing moment
blinded by the snow
thoughts and strain
another end towards the begining
a gap in between
roses and houses
scattered bittersweet feelings
my past and futures
nothing and nothing to doubt
one night with a dead rose
you left me alone
2010 endings of a decade...Still here, analyzing my life, a dynamical system that is highly sensitive to initial conditions still rendering long-term prediction impossible in general. "Frying" your brain in order to "keep" a calm and safe future.
Simplicity is genius. The hard part is to work it. Like a detail which can make a world upside down finally collapse. Auto destruction sequence resetting what is lost and can be saved.
As a "wingman" I have rescued many lives. I am a living part of a team. A team becomes more than just a collection of people when a strong sense of mutual commitment creates synergy, thus generating performance greater than the sum of t
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More